The band has just gone and driven me so far up the wall with their rediculous plans this time. Like it wasn't annoying enough the other day that they turned up drastically later than planned so I missed out on seeing Simon. Again they took the longest route yesterday and turned up at a venue at midnight only to play straight away then stay out until 5am, despite knowing they had to set off for home today.
So here it is, day one of the trip home and of course they only travelled around 4 hours in total in that whole day. What a waste! So instead of making it home Monday night, chances are it i'll end up being late Tuesday instead because they still have 18 and a half hours ahead of them. What is wrong with these boys!
I am so frustrated by the whole thing and to make matters worse, Simons phone has had a flat battery since last night. So i had no idea when they arrived and barely any more information. I was so angry but ended up ringing him on one of the other boys phones but I'm still just as angry knowing they are no where near close to getting home. What pisses me off most is the fact that he told me to come down to melbourne to see him and he told me he was taking a few extra days off at the end to spend with him. I saw him for one day in Melbourne and I will have one whole day off with him at the end of the holiday. Bullshit really. 2 days out of his 2 and a half weeks holidays!
I am soooo over this band thing!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Ups and Downs
I was quite proud of myself during this current band tour for not flipping out hardly at all so far. My friend, the singers girlfriend, had quite a rough time on saturday night. I managed to remain calm and avoid raising my voice or crying at all. But finally that all fell apart yesterday.
Simon was due into Melbourne yesterday. Somehow they ended up choosing this rediculously long route, so instead they were due today. This made me really angry and I totally flipped out. The route they had chosen and driven on for 4 hours that day, had gotten them no where. They had gone the long way around so they ended up with more time left to go than they started with that morning. So of course today, they did not arrive until late. About an hour ago to be exact.
Simon was meant to stay with me tonight. He was meant to get into the city early and come back to my brothers place with me after he finished work. This was the plan and suddenly it all went to shit. So my emotions got the better off me and I lost it totally.
When I lose it, I don't just have a yell or a cry and let it all be resolved. I demand the end of the relationship. I decide that i cannot possibly spend another second risking my happiness for more disappointment and heartbreak. So instead of getting an appology and moving on, it pretty much sets the theme for the rest of the tour.
But really, not many people do understand how hard it is dating someone who sometimes puts you second to a hobby. Who doesnt seem to realise the impact this time apart and dedication to something other than them really has. And it has a huge impact. It is shattering to the self esteem and hurtful in every way possible. Lately marriage has been a huge thing on my mind and this band seems to be the thing getting in the way. While one of the members is getting married soon, my member doesnt seem to be able to see the possibility of both. He tells me he does but it is so hard to imagine.
So again I spend a night along, hurt and disappointed that I was put second to a band. Hopefully it is all okay tomorrow but every time this happens, there is a little bit more damage that feels irrepairable.
Simon was due into Melbourne yesterday. Somehow they ended up choosing this rediculously long route, so instead they were due today. This made me really angry and I totally flipped out. The route they had chosen and driven on for 4 hours that day, had gotten them no where. They had gone the long way around so they ended up with more time left to go than they started with that morning. So of course today, they did not arrive until late. About an hour ago to be exact.
Simon was meant to stay with me tonight. He was meant to get into the city early and come back to my brothers place with me after he finished work. This was the plan and suddenly it all went to shit. So my emotions got the better off me and I lost it totally.
When I lose it, I don't just have a yell or a cry and let it all be resolved. I demand the end of the relationship. I decide that i cannot possibly spend another second risking my happiness for more disappointment and heartbreak. So instead of getting an appology and moving on, it pretty much sets the theme for the rest of the tour.
But really, not many people do understand how hard it is dating someone who sometimes puts you second to a hobby. Who doesnt seem to realise the impact this time apart and dedication to something other than them really has. And it has a huge impact. It is shattering to the self esteem and hurtful in every way possible. Lately marriage has been a huge thing on my mind and this band seems to be the thing getting in the way. While one of the members is getting married soon, my member doesnt seem to be able to see the possibility of both. He tells me he does but it is so hard to imagine.
So again I spend a night along, hurt and disappointed that I was put second to a band. Hopefully it is all okay tomorrow but every time this happens, there is a little bit more damage that feels irrepairable.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
On Holiday
Still no net but we've been in our new house for 3 months now. I'm down in Melbourne on holiday. Mostly because again, Simon is on a dreaded band tour. 3rd one since we moved out and this is a long one. He is away a week and a half but will be in Melbourne also tomorrow so it will only be just over a week apart in total.
Things have been going pretty good most of the time. We have been getting along quite well and fighting very little. Actually, there has been a lot of marriage talk the past week or two. Of course it is me that is doing the marraige talk but since he's been on tour he seems more and more open to the topic. He says it isn't so far away and I do have a feeling it might be proposal time when we go to Poland next christmas with his family but that is still over a year away. I have been very patient already. I guess another year wont hurt.
Simon believes he will be married and a father by the age of 30. He is 26 and a half already. Time is running out. But if he sticks to the goal, at least the marriage part will be happening before then. I hope. I doubt both will happen before then though.
One thing for sure though, I hate band tours. It drives me totally insane when he goes off and has these big long trips with them, claiming it isnt a holiday but sees all the sights we've never seen together and then never has enough time or holidays to take the same long trips with me. Frustrating!
Things have been going pretty good most of the time. We have been getting along quite well and fighting very little. Actually, there has been a lot of marriage talk the past week or two. Of course it is me that is doing the marraige talk but since he's been on tour he seems more and more open to the topic. He says it isn't so far away and I do have a feeling it might be proposal time when we go to Poland next christmas with his family but that is still over a year away. I have been very patient already. I guess another year wont hurt.
Simon believes he will be married and a father by the age of 30. He is 26 and a half already. Time is running out. But if he sticks to the goal, at least the marriage part will be happening before then. I hope. I doubt both will happen before then though.
One thing for sure though, I hate band tours. It drives me totally insane when he goes off and has these big long trips with them, claiming it isnt a holiday but sees all the sights we've never seen together and then never has enough time or holidays to take the same long trips with me. Frustrating!
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