A Bumpy First Week

So the new year is barely upon us and already I have had tears, hurt feelings and insecurities running rampant in my head. Okay... so what's new?

I do set myself up for disappointment by aiming so high and expecting so much from everything in life I guess. That includes my relationships. This year was one where I knew big things may happen. Especially with the trip overseas planned at the end of the year. For this reason I wanted to build this year up into something truely spectacular for my relationship. Possibly that is a bad idea!

I have been pressuring that male in my life about marriage in a big way lately. All along I though of course he'd be planning to pop the question overseas next Christmas. What better time, really? Then he came out randomly a couple of weeks ago telling me that next year was probably not likely but the year after was. I was devostated. So since then I have been trying not so subtly to put the idea into his head that overseas would be perfect and if not overseas, at least soon. I deserve it, afterall. I put up with so much with his band. Surely it is time to give me a little something back.

Okay so maybe the pressuring and non-subtle hinting is not a good method for the male kind but desperate measures call for desperate acts.

I have such high expectations for this year and what it holds for our relationship that already I am realising the disappointment I could be setting myself up for. So yesterday, with news that band practice would be both days this weekend and we were back to the old routine of planning life around the band, of course I flipped out. I was loving the holiday season so much, having him all to myself, being able to vege out on the weekends and have romantic dinners and lazy afternoons in front of the television. It was so great that I am not really willing to give it up. But of course I have to. And already I have. He is at practice right this moment and I am back to the over reaction and total annoyance that he has to leave me for the band for most of the day... again!

So to fill my own time, I will sit here and blog, and shop online and facebook, myspace, google and whatever else I can do to waste an entire day. Don't worry... I did some housework too. Did the washing... and maybe I'll even bake a cake or two... make him realise what an awesome domesticated little wife I could be!

It doesn't hurt to try!