Last night I got into an argument with my partner about how he is not really saving hardly at all yet so far and we are supposed to go overseas for 6 weeks at christmas time, yet he keep spending his money on the band and on touring.
Then it came up about how he won't even be able to afford to get engaged and he said he never planned to propose overseas. It left me feeling totally shattered because all along I thought the reason he had been waiting so long was because he was waiting for that perfect moment. But it was never the plan at all.
Things turned really bad. We had to go to my sisters place for my nieces birthday and said nothing to eachother the whole time. Then nothing when we got home until I ended up crying hysterically for an hour before he finally bothered to acknowledge me.
He does not understand how much it hurts to find out that after all these years there are still so many things holding him back from getting engaged. It means so much to me to be his wife and to have a family with him but it seems these things are moving further and further back. 6 years is only months away and then seven and eight and however many more before he is finally ready.
Am I waiting for something that is never destined to come?
Today he sent emails saying it will come soon but that isn't the right time and we need the timing to be perfect etc etc etc but all I am hearing is not now. Not soon.
Just when things start to go really well for us, it all comes crashing down. Is it ever our time to shine as a couple? Or am I waiting for a dream that will never be fulfilled?
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
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2 comments:
Leave him. He will never be the man you want and you will always feel like something is missing. You should be the most important thing in his life and you are not. Take it from someone who has been through the exact same thing and I did it for 6 years. You will find true happiness.. I promise.
Sometimes that sounds like good advice but that isn't taking into consideration the fact that things are good a large portion of the time too. 6 year is a long time to throw it all away so I am hanging in for now.
Thanks for your advice though!
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